On Space, Breaks, and The Future

I find myself pleasantly surprised by all the things I am able to live without.  There is a spaciousness to revisiting one's entire lifestyle and existence - somewhat akin to the great Chicago fire.  Okay so the whole city burned, the bitch was leveled to the ground.  Fair enough, all things move to chaos and whatnot.  Survey the damage.  Inventory.  Salvage what is salvageable, scrap the scrappable, and then get to steppin toward the great rebuild.  It's pretty goddamn exciting if I may be so bold. 

I'll be getting back to my blog projects in the next few months, I've been writing in a small composition-style notebook.  It's almost full so I'll fill up another one, then another one. 

For many reasons you're probably smart enough to infer, a blogging break has been in order.  I miss you guys and think of the ULBs and ACoNs all the time, sending out good vibes in all directions.  I think of this time in my life as a sort of incubation period.  I was a bulb in winter and I'm bout ta burst open.  Until then, I'll be scribbling away and writing and rewriting and singing singing singing and laying new foundations for the life I get to live.  It's fuckin badass y'all.   

How to Start Over

Make a list
of everything lost
toss it in the river
tie it to a balloon
watch it disappear
burn it
along with
what you thought you knew

Inventory your joy &
tape it to the inside of
your head
read it on the train
in the shower
walking to the store

Never let the bastards grind you down.

Decide you have
what you need
to be happy
right now.
Hoohaw Daddio
you're here

Let your heart swell
eyes starfish of
possibilities
hands paper fire lanterns
feet waltzing past midnight
voice a chocolate melody
body racing bikes fast
a rush of kisses
pale strange figures
taking shape in the distance

Flip your fate
between your fingers
until smooth
like a worry stone
throw yourself
into the arms of
the unknown

Till the rock hard soil
loosen the packed block
of dirt and wreckage

Something new will grow

Just when you think
you'll never see green
the tiniest root emerges.

Keep watering your roots.

Ungrateful Little Bastards Unite

Our ACoN band is about the baddest most killa group of people you'll ever meet.  Don't fuck with us.  Gladys will shake her tambourine so fierce it will make your booty shake.  Q's guitar riffs will blow your hair back.  Jonsi's brass knuckles will leave you reelin.  Bess and Jessie and MOC's dance moves have never been topped.  T-to-the-Dubya's mad skills in zingers and high level strategizing Re: marketing and promotion - they leave you speechless.  VR knows how to rock and roll with some heavy axe grinding (and I do mean sexy battle axe of musical virtuosity) and good lord am I forgetting about forty other members? 

My vocals pull the room together, and we are a force to be reckoned with.  Fuck with us if you dare. 

For Who You Are

People who truly love you
do not
by definition
want to change you. 

Best Christmas Ever

You'll be happy to know that this year was the best Christmas of my entire life.  Footloose and fancy free, I am not kidding when I say I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whomever I wanted.  I loved every minute of it.  I only bought presents for myself!  I bought myself a radio, a Brita filter, and a clothes steamer.  I spent my little four day break following my bliss, hanging and partying with my friends, singing Christmas carols, cutting snowflakes and just plain having a grand old time.  My parents have thus far respected my request to give me space until I'm ready to talk, and I must say I give them mad props for that.

Can I tell you how awesome it is to have a Christmas like this?  People that hear I was "alone" for the holidays and don't know me first have this annoying pitying expression on their faces, but that is actually the only downside is that people pity me.  FUCK YOUR PITY.  I am happy and making my own way, and I don't need your goddamn long faces.  I am brimming with joy and contentment and had parties and dinners and gatherings to attend.  I have amazing friends, I have self-reliance, I can make any room fun just by being in it. 

Every holiday should be like this.  A time to reconnect with myself.  A time to reflect on the year and look forward to the next.  A time to bask in my luck and my good tidings.  I hope you all had as fabulous a Christmas as I did. 

World's End

If the world ends tomorrow, I will be knee deep in bliss.  All hopes and no fears and one big love ball of radiating joy.  And I will be with my closest friends.  I will be your shining light in the distance.  You will catch my joy beams all the way in Ireland.  You will feel the pulse of my heart beating in Texas.  Boston's power grid will be temporarily overloaded because my circuits will be firing on all human levels.  Canada will have to call Saturday a snow day because my avalanche of fabulousness will shake their clouds.  And I will be partying recklessly until the very last moment.

Keep on fighting the good fight!

Dudes and Dudettes

I've been off the map lately, partying it up holiday style riding around on Jolly Trolleys and running around the zoo lights and tonight karaoke and it goes on and on.  My apartment is decked out with Christmas cheer and I have a couple days off coming up and I'll be able to immerse and catch up on the blogs.  Thanks to everyone for your well wishes.  I'm doing great getting back in touch with myself and building my new life.  Everyday is a new adventure full of excitement.  I was in my firm's holiday show and made big waves and I'm thinking of singing for a band and I'm just living it up.  Love love love!

p.s. Special shout-out to Q, Jonsi, Raymond, K, S, and MOC in no particular order for being by my side.  Y'all are fierce and I love you forever.

Really Love

I've been getting in touch with my love of thrift store shopping, and I found one of my favorite SARK prints the other day that really resonates with the themes of this blog.  Enjoy!